Characteristics of Toxic Parents-

1. By presenting self-centered behaviors such as being emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, or uncaring, they abuse or neglect their child’s requirements. This is harmful and damaging.
2. Physical and verbal abuse such as hitting, yelling, threatening, name-calling, shifting of blame, silent treatment, and gaslighting.
3. Controlling behaviors which include invasion of privacy, being overly-critic, controlling your decisions (even when you’re an adult)
4. Manipulative behaviors such as guilt-tripping or playing with the child’s emotions.
5. Lack of boundaries
6. Usage of harsh punishment
7. Strict, critical, and rigid
8. Intrusive, controlling, and don’t allow their children to have friends
9. Narcissistic and always believe they’re in the right.

Effects of toxic parenting on children-

A child’s physical, motor, cognitive, socio-emotional, and moral development is highly influenced by the environment they are brought up in. The people they’re surrounded with and the morals they hold and pass on structure the child’s cognitions and behaviors. However, toxic parenting negatively affects and slows this process significantly.

Ongoing stress from such parenting can lead to an overproduction of stress hormones such as cortisol which adversely affects their brain development, leading to emotional dysregulation. Unstable relationships, weakened immunity, people-pleasing behaviors, low self-esteem, and fear of confrontation are some other effects caused by toxic parenting.

Dealing with toxic parents-

Dealing with abusive parents can be stressful and can lead to suicidal thoughts or thoughts of running away. If you are under the restraints of abusive parents, do the following things to deal with them.

1. Set boundaries.
2. It’s okay to say NO to your parents
3. Protect yourself
4. Recommend therapy for them
5. Have detailed discussions on how their behavior is affecting you. It will be difficult for them to understand but it’s worth trying.
6. If you can’t change them, focus on yourself and on being independent. It will help you to live a life of freedom and happiness devoid of their abuse and restraints.
7. Limit interactions with them
8. Seek therapy for yourself to resolve the trauma you faced

 

Stories of adults with past trauma of abuse who are now living with pride, joy, and success are many. Hope is alive and thriving. If you feel restrained under the narcissistic control of your guardians, reach out for help. You are worthy of love and respect, despite what you have faced. Step by step, we can take steps to make the world a better place to live.